How to Master Relationships

2018-05-09T16:15:44+00:00

Intimate LoversIn our last retreat for couples called Body Awakening, my beloved and I shared a model to understand the mechanisms of protection and vulnerability that surface in relationships.  This model is inspired from the book Face to Face with Fear from Dr Thomas Krish Trobe.

It is about how we relate in intimate relationships, when we get triggered in our wounds that we carry with us from childhood. It can be the wound of rejection, the wound of abandonment or the wound of humiliation, just to mention a few. When we travel deeper into an intimate relationship, we inevitably encounter these wounds. They were so devastating to feel as child, that we learned, over the years, different strategies to protect ourselves from feeling them.

The model represent three circles surrounding each other, where the outer circle is our protection layer, the middle circle is our vulnerability and the third innermost circle is our essence.

Model Layer of Protection

As a child, the capacity to protect ourselves is a positive thing, because without it,  we wouldn’t have survived the intensity of the energies coming to us. As adults, we are strong enough to face and feel the pain, but we are so identify and attached to our protections, that we live in it unconsciously. Some examples of being in this layer are blaming, controlling, reacting and withdrawing.

If we stay in the protection layer, we end up in a fight, or what I call the “relationship hole”. In intimate relationships, clashes happen when both partners are in the protection layers, and in these moments, we cannot heal .

When we become aware that a wound is activated and we take the courageous step to move into the second circle of our vulnerability, exposing ourselves and feeling the pain, we can start to heal the cellular memories. This is not a comfortable place to be, but it opens the doors to the inner circle, the essence, which is who we really are behind the veils of protection and the wounded child.

Understanding and cultivating awareness in those moments of being triggered is an important factor. Without that, we cannot detect what is going on and we just go on with the automatic reaction of protecting ourselves. It feels more safe to be in this layer, but we cut the connection with our essence and nothing can really happen there, we can’t access our full potential and uniqueness.  Cultivating self-love, creating the most loving relationship with your inner child and becoming your own best caretaker, anchoring compassion, trust and patience is also a necessary step to heal ourselves.

What is really beautiful, apart from the work we do with ourselves, is what we explore in the journey of Living Intimacy, where together with our beloved, we can support each other in those moments of unraveling old fears and pain. It can be for example through bodywork or being assisted through a breath session or just having your beloved holding space for you, being present with you.

In my relationship with Elie, I have recently opened up to an even deeper layer of healing and the other day, I was doing a breath session while he was pulsing and touching my body, as I was crying, shivering and my teeth were chattering, everything at the same time. After some time it felt like the energy shifted into feeling very alive and we ended up making love, where I felt I was allowing him into my being and my heart more than ever before.

The Living Intimacy retreats for lovers are for me the most beautiful and profound way to bring more love, light and power into our life. To also attract more of what we are longing for and let go of old patterns that prevent our light to shine fully. Living Intimacy is a journey where we open to more love, connection and complicity with our partner, as we learn to love ourself more and open the doors to our soul to express the uniqueness of who we really are.

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UPCOMING LIVING INTIMACY EVENTS

Jun
1
Fri
2018
Living Intimacy – Kundalini Rising @ Netherlands
Jun 1 – Jun 3 all-day

This retreat focuses mainly on awakening Kundalini energy, the primordial life force. In tantra it is often depicted as a snake coiled at the bottom of the spine. When activated it can rise through the spine and bring the sexual energy to higher levels, merging with love and bliss in the upper energy centers or chakras.

Together with your beloved you will learn specific techniques to activate the Kundalini energy as well as how to support each other in unraveling any energy blockages that might show up.

Another aspect we will dive into is our masculine and feminine essence, how the source expresses itself through a woman’s respectively a man’s body. When we are aligned here, the gift that we are is unwrapped and when shared, brings your relationship to a new level of interaction.

We will also do a vision process, to bring more clarity regarding our goals and what we would like to achieve both personally and within the relationship.

In this retreat you will learn and explore:
– Kundalini awakening techniques
– Breath & energy orgasms
– How to move sexual energy through the chakras
– Deepening into conscious touch and tantric massage
– Masculine and feminine essence
– Focus your energy to achieve your goals
– Conscious communication skills
– Relaxation and meditation

– PRACTICAL INFORMATION –

Time: From Friday June 1, 2018 at 10:00 until Sunday June 3, 2018 at 17:00.

Location: Venwoude, Vuurse steeg 1, 3749 AN Lage Vuurshe, Netherlands – www.venwoude.nl

Price: 490€*
Reduction price for 4 retreats: 2120€* (100€ discount)
Reduction price for 3 retreats: 1540€* (60€ discount)
*Price for 1 person

In the fee is included:
LODGING: Double-room
MEALS: Organic vegetarian food

Registration: To register for this retreatclick the button “Register”  at the top right. You can choose to pay the full amount at once or to pay a deposit and the remaining sum later.

Aug
31
Fri
2018
Living Intimacy – Heart Alchemy @ Netherlands
Aug 31 – Sep 2 all-day

This retreat is about expanding your capacity to love, your own self and your beloved. It will infuse your lovemaking, allowing sex to marry the heart and creating a space where you can melt, feel and heal.

It starts with self-love, becoming the most loving partner to yourself and establishing a close, intimate relationship with yourself. Often this is something we need to re-learn, as we tend to loose ourselves in the other, making them more important and forgetting about the precious being, our innocence, that is residing in our hearts.

Then we have the love for our intimate partners. Often in longtime relationships, as we get habituated to each other, we tend to not always see the other with the eyes of love, like when we first met. It has become a habit that the other is there and the newness that we felt in the beginning has faded. We will explore ways to open to the love flow again, re-igniting passion and libido.

We will also investigate how to deal with everyday conflicts and challenges in the relationship. How do we open to more love in these situations and use them as a door to growth? By building a foundation of trust in the relationship, it can become the most fertile ground for love to grow.

In this retreat you will learn and explore:
– Dynamic of triggering
– Healing from emotional co-dependency
– Tantric lovemaking practices
– How sex becomes intimate
– Deepening into tantric massage
– Conscious communication skills
– Relaxation and meditation

– PRACTICAL INFORMATION –

Time: From Friday August 31, 2018 at 10:00 until Sunday September 2, 2018 at 17:00.

Location: Venwoude, Vuurse steeg 1, 3749 AN Lage Vuurshe, Netherlands – www.venwoude.nl

Price: 490€*
Reduction price for 4 retreats: 2120€* (100€ discount)
Reduction price for 3 retreats: 1540€* (60€ discount)
*Price for 1 person

In the fee is included:
LODGING: Double-room
MEALS: Organic vegetarian food

Registration: To register for this retreatclick the button “Register”  at the top right. You can choose to pay the full amount at once or to pay a deposit and the remaining sum later.

Sep
11
Tue
2018
One-day Immersion for Lovers @ Netherlands
Sep 11 all-day

This day will give you a taste of the Living Intimacy – Path of the Beloved 4-retreat journey. It is also an opportunity to give yourself a one-day immersion together with your beloved, where you are being guided, in a safe and loving container, to experience a selection of the Living Intimacy practices. The content is created in the flow of the moment, which makes all immersion-days different from each other.

Here are some general elements of the day:

  • Guided meditation landing and relaxing into yourself and with your beloved
  • What is Living Intimacy – Short presentation
  • Opening to heart consciousness and formulating an intention for the day
  • Breath, movement and other embodiment practices for more aliveness
  • The art of conscious touch
  • Tantric meditations to enhance the love current with your beloved
  • How to communicate with your beloved from vulnerability instead of blame and protection
  • Time for sharing and Q&A

Even if there are other couples in the room, the intention is for you and your beloved to stay together and create your own little bubble for the two of you to have this precious time, where you get to nourish your love and deepen your intimate connection.

– PRACTICAL INFORMATION –

Time: Tuesday September 11, 2018 at 10:00 to 18:00

Location: Venwoude, Vuurse steeg 1, 3749 AN Lage Vuurshe, Netherlands – www.venwoude.nl

Price: 80€ per person (included vegan organic lunch and catering)

Registration: To register for this eventclick the button “Register”  at the top right.

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