How to Master Relationships


Intimate LoversIn our last retreat for couples called Body Awakening, my beloved and I shared a model to understand the mechanisms of protection and vulnerability that surface in relationships.  This model is inspired from the book Face to Face with Fear from Dr Thomas Krish Trobe.

It is about how we relate in intimate relationships, when we get triggered in our wounds that we carry with us from childhood. It can be the wound of rejection, the wound of abandonment or the wound of humiliation, just to mention a few. When we travel deeper into an intimate relationship, we inevitably encounter these wounds. They were so devastating to feel as child, that we learned, over the years, different strategies to protect ourselves from feeling them.

The model represent three circles surrounding each other, where the outer circle is our protection layer, the middle circle is our vulnerability and the third innermost circle is our essence.

Model Layer of Protection

As a child, the capacity to protect ourselves is a positive thing, because without it,  we wouldn’t have survived the intensity of the energies coming to us. As adults, we are strong enough to face and feel the pain, but we are so identify and attached to our protections, that we live in it unconsciously. Some examples of being in this layer are blaming, controlling, reacting and withdrawing.

If we stay in the protection layer, we end up in a fight, or what I call the “relationship hole”. In intimate relationships, clashes happen when both partners are in the protection layers, and in these moments, we cannot heal .

When we become aware that a wound is activated and we take the courageous step to move into the second circle of our vulnerability, exposing ourselves and feeling the pain, we can start to heal the cellular memories. This is not a comfortable place to be, but it opens the doors to the inner circle, the essence, which is who we really are behind the veils of protection and the wounded child.

Understanding and cultivating awareness in those moments of being triggered is an important factor. Without that, we cannot detect what is going on and we just go on with the automatic reaction of protecting ourselves. It feels more safe to be in this layer, but we cut the connection with our essence and nothing can really happen there, we can’t access our full potential and uniqueness.  Cultivating self-love, creating the most loving relationship with your inner child and becoming your own best caretaker, anchoring compassion, trust and patience is also a necessary step to heal ourselves.

What is really beautiful, apart from the work we do with ourselves, is what we explore in the journey of Living Intimacy, where together with our beloved, we can support each other in those moments of unraveling old fears and pain. It can be for example through bodywork or being assisted through a breath session or just having your beloved holding space for you, being present with you.

In my relationship with Elie, I have recently opened up to an even deeper layer of healing and the other day, I was doing a breath session while he was pulsing and touching my body, as I was crying, shivering and my teeth were chattering, everything at the same time. After some time it felt like the energy shifted into feeling very alive and we ended up making love, where I felt I was allowing him into my being and my heart more than ever before.

The Living Intimacy retreats for lovers are for me the most beautiful and profound way to bring more love, light and power into our life. To also attract more of what we are longing for and let go of old patterns that prevent our light to shine fully. Living Intimacy is a journey where we open to more love, connection and complicity with our partner, as we learn to love ourself more and open the doors to our soul to express the uniqueness of who we really are.

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One-day Immersion for Lovers @ Netherlands
Nov 13 all-day

This day will give you a taste of the Living Intimacy – Path of the Beloved 4-retreat journey. It is also an opportunity to give yourself a one-day immersion together with your beloved, where you are being guided, in a safe and loving container, to experience a selection of the Living Intimacy practices. The content is created in the flow of the moment, which makes all immersion-days different from each other.

Here are some general elements of the day:

  • Guided meditation landing and relaxing into yourself and with your beloved
  • What is Living Intimacy – Short presentation
  • Opening to heart consciousness and formulating an intention for the day
  • Breath, movement and other embodiment practices for more aliveness
  • The art of conscious touch
  • Tantric meditations to enhance the love current with your beloved
  • How to communicate with your beloved from vulnerability instead of blame and protection
  • Time for sharing and Q&A

Even if there are other couples in the room, the intention is for you and your beloved to stay together and create your own little bubble for the two of you to have this precious time, where you get to nourish your love and deepen your intimate connection.


Time: Tuesday November 13, 2018 at 10:00 to 18:00

Location: Venwoude, Vuurse steeg 1, 3749 AN Lage Vuurshe, Netherlands –

Price: 80€ per person (included vegan organic lunch and catering)

Registration: To register for this eventclick the button “Register”  at the top right.

Living Intimacy – Ecstatic Union @ Netherlands
Nov 15 – Nov 18 all-day

Here we are deepening our exploration of the Path of the Beloved, taking the spiritual journey of relationship to a new level, where you know that the beloved, the divine is within you as well as acknowledging your partner as the beloved and an agent of the divine in human form.

When we bring this perspective into our everyday life with each other, the invitation is to interpret whatever comes up in our interaction, as a way for the souls to evolve and expand even more into essence, even if it is coming through conflict. The beloved in front of you is serving as a catalyst, bringing forth whatever is needed for you to grow into the highest version of yourself.

In this retreat we will bring tantric practices especially designed to bring more ecstasy into your intimate relating. We will explore the fire of desire and the art of worshipping the masculine/feminine essence in each other. You will learn sacred sex rituals, bringing devotion into the bedroom, as well as exploring taoistic exercises to enhance your sexual energy and replenish your soul.

When we move in lovemaking in this way, connecting and allowing the energy to move from the sex, to the heart and beyond…merging the Beloved within with the Beloved outside and becoming one…this is Ecstatic Union.


Time: From Thursday November 15, 2018 at 10:00 until Sunday November 18, 2018 at 17:00.

Location: Venwoude, Vuurse steeg 1, 3749 AN Lage Vuurshe, Netherlands –

Price: 620€*
Reduction price for 4 retreats: 2120€* (100€ discount)
Reduction price for 3 retreats: 1540€* (60€ discount)
*Price for 1 person

In the fee is included:
LODGING: Double-room
MEALS: Organic vegetarian food

Registration: To register for this retreatclick the button “Register”  at the top right. You can choose to pay the full amount at once or to pay a deposit and the remaining sum later.

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